Kurama and Friends, Uninhibited
by rct
Summary: A story mainly about Kurama, with crossovers into Inuyasha, Zelda, Wheel of Time. It has no plot. Please read with caution. May offend more stuffily conservative readers. Please be careful, and enjoy.


Kurama and Friends, Uninhibited  
  
rct  
  
One day, Kurama was walking happily around in a circle when he fell in a hole.  
  
Kurama: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  
  
Then he fell down on top of something very squishy.  
  
He poked it and it went Arrrrgh.  
  
Then he got off and discovered it was a person.  
  
Sort of.   
  
Kurama: I'm terribly sorry, dear.... er, sir.  
  
InuYasha (for that is who the squishy thing was): Well, push off, gay dude.  
  
Kurama: I am appalled at that accusation.  
  
Then, a tiny little squirrely thing jumped up and screamed.  
  
Shippo: KURAMA-CHAN!  
  
Kurama: I'm sorry, do I know you?  
  
Shippo: I'm your long-lost brother Shippo! Don't you remember?  
  
Kurama: Ehm..... no.  
  
Shippo: Well.............. we're both fox demons! WE'RE BROTHERS!  
  
Kurama: Oh........ deary me. I feel quite faint.  
  
InuYasha: I am so sorry, gay guy.  
  
Kurama: Me too. AND I'M NOT GAY!  
  
Shippo: Yay! Kurama's home! Now we can engage in brotherly bonding! YIPPEE!  
  
Sango: Oh, you poor, poor victim.  
  
Kurama: B-brotherly... b-bonding? Am I really related to this hyperactive squirrel child? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I MUST END IT ALL!  
  
Then Kurama ran off and attempted to hang himself with his rose whip.  
  
Suddenly, a short person in a nifty black cloak appeared out of the sky and yelled  
  
Hiei: KURAMA NOOOOO!  
  
Kurama: Please tell me you aren't about to profess your love to me.  
  
Hiei: Oh cripe no. I came to say KURAMA YOU ARE NEEDED ON A QUEST OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE.  
  
Kurama: ...I think I'm going to end it all anyway.  
  
Hiei: Get over here, ya big girly lout.  
  
With that, Hiei hauled Kurama through a hole in the sky back to Yu Yu Hakusho land.  
  
Kurama: So... what's this quest?  
  
Hiei: We must kill Kuwabara.  
  
Kurama: Why?  
  
Hiei: Because he's REALLY ANNOYING!  
  
Kurama: I agree! What a good reason!  
  
So the two rather evil demons ran around town in a circle until they met up with Kuwabara.  
  
Kuwabara: Hey! What up homies gee!  
  
Hiei: Ah.... ehmmm..... okay, Kurama, go ahead.  
  
Kurama: What?  
  
Kuwabara: Huh?  
  
Hiei: *sob* I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! KUWABARA I MUST PROFESS MY LOVE TO YOU!  
  
Kurama: What the holy hey-hole?  
  
Kuwabara: ME TOO! I'VE BEEN HOLDING MY FEELINGS IN FOR TOO LONG!  
  
Happy love music played as Hiei and Kuwabara ran, in slow motion, into each other's arms.  
  
Kurama: O.O! .....Meep.  
  
Then Yusuke came along.  
  
Yuskuke: What the holy mother of a catfish is going on around here?  
  
Hiei and Kuwabara were twirling around holding hands.  
  
Kurama: Er... I'm not quite sure. Ehm........ YOU'RE not about to profess your love for me, are you?  
  
Yusuke: O.o Uh...... I wasn't planning on it. .......................Why?  
  
Kurama: See, I just have this weird feeling that we're in some deranged teenage girl's story, is all.  
  
Yusuke: I get that feeling a lot.  
  
Suddenly, all four of our heroes fell through a gigantic hole that appeared under them. They arrived back in fuedal Japan.  
  
InuYasha: All right, just what the schwap is going on here?  
  
Hiei and Kuwabara were still in their own special little love bubble.  
  
Kurama: Er... sorry, I suppose.  
  
InuYasha: Hey, it's that gay guy from earlier!   
  
Shippo: BROTHER!!  
  
Kurama: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
Yusuke: Hey, Kagome! What the carp are you doing here?  
  
Kagome: Aren't you that little middle-school twerp who died last year?  
  
Yusuke: Uh... yeah. I have my own TV show, you know.  
  
Kagome: So do I..... twerp.  
  
Yusuke: You want to go out with me?  
  
Kagome: ...Sure!  
  
InuYasha: HEY!  
  
Kagome: Don't worry, dog-boy, you'll still have Kikyo.  
  
InuYasha: .O Argh.  
  
Then Sesshomaru appeared in a puff of randomness.  
  
Sesshomaru: Boo.  
  
Kagome, Shippo, and Sango: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Sesshomaru: Hehehehehe I love doing that.  
  
InuYasha: Go away, elf-breath!  
  
Kurama: Is he your sibling?  
  
Sesshomaru: NO!  
  
InuYasha: Ye- NO!  
  
Kurama: I think I have one, too.  
  
Shippo: BUBBA!  
  
Sesshomaru: I understand. Would you like me to kill him for you?  
  
Shippo: Bubby? *huge eyes*  
  
Kurama: GEHENNA YES!  
  
Sesshomaru: *kills Shippo*  
  
Everyone else: YAY!  
  
Kurama: Well, thank you very much, Sesshomaru. Shall I kill your brother for you?  
  
InuYasha fan girls: NE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Sesshomaru: Feel free. It might be a bit difficult.  
  
Kurama: Oh, rubbish. Roooooooooooooooooose whip!  
  
InuYasha: Eep! TETSUSAIGA!  
  
Kurama: *Slices InuYasha and the Testusaiga into fifteen googalon pieces*  
  
Sesshomaru: Yay!  
  
Everyone else: Boo.  
  
Then Botan appeared from a hole in the sky.  
  
Botan: Yusuke! You loser! Keiko has been pining her heart out for your love and you're over here callavanting with unsuitable company!  
  
Yusuke: Oh, I'm dumping Keiko. This is Kagome, and she's in high school.  
  
Botan: You're going out with a high schooler? Well, that's certainly cooler than Keiko.  
  
Sesshomaru: Hey.... Botan! You want to go out with me?  
  
Botan: Ooh, a demon. Sure!  
  
Sesshomaru fan girls: NE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
RANDOMNESS Ichi  
  
Neo: You called?  
  
Everyone else: Huh?  
  
My sister: SESSHOMARU DON'T! I WANT TO PROFESS MY LOVE TO YOU!  
  
Sesshomaru: Um, too bad.  
  
Miroku: I'M SINGLE!  
  
Sango: HEY!  
  
My sister: Yay! MIROKU! I WANT TO PROFESS MY LOVE TO YOU!  
  
Miroku: Okay!  
  
RANDOMNESS  
  
So anyway...  
  
Kaede randomly popped out of a hole in the ground.  
  
Kaede: MIROKU! I... am... your... mother!  
  
Miroku: Nooooooooooo! *slices Kaede with lightsaber*  
  
Sesshomaru: Hey! I want a lightsaber too!  
  
Miroku: It's easy! Just think destructive, evil thoughts! Concentrate!   
  
Sesshomaru: Okay! *concentrates* Hey! Handy! *slices Jaken with lightsaber*  
  
Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru! *dies*  
  
Sesshomaru: Yay! But who will babysit my little minion girl? *brings Jaken back to life*  
  
Botan: You're so amazing! *hangs on Sesshomaru's arm*  
  
Kuwabara and Hiei were still spinning around merrily, gazing into each other's eyes.  
  
Kuwabara: I'm so glad you return my feelings, Hiei.  
  
Hiei: We should have admitted our love a long time ago.  
  
Kurama: ...Help! I'm trapped in some sort of neurotic dream!  
  
Kagome: I hear ya, tall, handsome guy.  
  
Kurama: ...Eyh?  
  
Yusuke: Kagome! I thought we were going out!  
  
Kagome: Oh, come on, Yusuke. Even you can't fail to admit that he's extremely gorgeous.  
  
Kurama: *eyes widen* ...Eyh?  
  
Kagome: In fact, I'd say that this fiery kitsune is the most delicious guy I've ever set eyes on.  
  
Kurama: *backing away* ........Eeey!  
  
Yusuke: Now hold on one second!  
  
Kagome: Huh? Oh, it's you. Hey! You're in middle school! That's so uncool! *turns back to Kurama*  
  
Kurama: *runs away*  
  
Kagome: What'd I say?  
  
Kurama: Must... get away... from these freaks...   
  
Then Hiei appeared beside him.  
  
Hiei: Kurama, where're you going?  
  
Kurama: Ahhhhh! Hiei! I thought you and Kuwabara were still dancing around?  
  
Hiei: Oh, yes, we've decided to get married. Isn't that delightful?  
  
Kurama: O.O;;; Ahhh... well... um...  
  
Hiei: Would you be my best man?  
  
Kurama: Um, well.. ah...  
  
Hiei: I think Kuwabara's asking Yusuke to be his best man.  
  
Kurama: *still running* Well... two best men for two grooms... ah ha...  
  
Hiei: ^^  
  
Kurama: AIEE!! *falls through a hole*  
  
Hiei: What'd I do?  
  
Kurama dashed madly across a field in whatever place he had come to. He stopped when he tripped over an elf.  
  
Link: Hey!  
  
Kurama: AHH!  
  
Link: Watch it, girly boy.  
  
Kurama: When will the horror end?  
  
Link: You're wearing pink and you've got a rose...  
  
Randomly, Zelda flew by and stopped.  
  
Zelda: Hey, Link, who's your gorgeous friend?  
  
Link: GORGEOUS?  
  
Kurama: Ipe! *runs off*  
  
Zelda: No, beautiful one, wait!  
  
Link: WTH?  
  
Kurama: When... will the madness... end?  
  
Malon: Hello, and welcome to Lon Lon Ranch... oh my goodness me. You sure are hot.  
  
Kurama: Not another one. *runs*  
  
Malon: *gets on a horse and follows* Wait!  
  
Kurama: Aiee!  
  
Kurama ran and ran, finally cutting a hole in the sky with his rose whip to escape the rapidly nearing Malon.  
  
Malon: Noooo!  
  
Kurama ran through the hole into a brand new place.  
  
There was a tall red-haired man with three young women draping themselves over him.  
  
Kurama: Hey! That guy looks like Kuwabara! But... gasp! He's realistic! I feel so out of place.  
  
Three young women: *drool*  
  
Rand: Huh?  
  
Three young women: *hop off Rand and walk slowly toward Kurama*  
  
Rand: Hey!  
  
Elayne: Wow... he's so beautiful...  
  
Aviendha: Anyone got a wreath?  
  
Min: Meheheheh... *passes out*  
  
Rand: What are they doing? I don't get it.  
  
Kurama: Agh! Not more women enticed with my beauty!  
  
Rand: It's the Forsaken! This one must have used Compulsion to lure my girlfriends aside! But how can I kill her? She's a woman!  
  
Kurama: GAAAAASP! HOW DARE YOU? *sobs* I happen to be an attractive young man, that's all!  
  
Sesshomaru: *randomly appears* So the truth finally comes out, eh?  
  
Kurama: Um... what?  
  
Sesshomaru: That's right! You've been my only competition as most gorgeous demon for as long as I can remember! I knew something had to be wrong... so I checked.  
  
Kurama: Huh?  
  
Sesshomaru: Explain... these! *holds out pictures of female Ranma*  
  
Kurama: What the fricking monkey?  
  
Sesshomaru: Yes! These pictures are proof that you, Mr. I'm-So-Gorgeous, are actually... a woman!  
  
Rand: Well, duuuuh.  
  
Elayne, Aviendha, Min: NOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Kurama: No, I'm not! I'm a guy! I swear!  
  
Min: Then how about some PROOF! *grins maniacally*  
  
Elayne and Aviendha: YES! PROOF!  
  
Kurama: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs through another hole*  
  
Rand: She traveled! I knew she was a Forsaken!  
  
Sesshomaru: I'll get that sneaking transvestite yet!   
  
Kurama ended up back in feudal Japan.  
  
Kagome: Yay! Hot guy is back!  
  
Yusuke: Hey! You're going out with me!  
  
Sesshomaru: *appears* Aha! You can never escape me, morphodite.  
  
Botan: Sesshomaru, I have to break up with you. I'm sorry, but I've met someone else.  
  
Sesshomaru: Huh? Oh, sure.  
  
Botan: I know how much it hurts inside, Sesshomaru, but I just can't be with you when I know that Miroku loves me enough to ask me to bear his child. I'm so, so sorry. I hope you can understand. I never want to hurt you, Sesshomaru, I just need to do what is right for me, and being with you just isn't what it used to-  
  
Yusuke: Did you memorize that?  
  
Botan: -be. I want you to know that this is not about you. You haven't changed, Sesshomaru. I've changed. It's not something that I can help, or you. I know this will be painful, but... it's over.  
  
Sesshomaru: Yup, she memorized it.  
  
Botan: Huh? Miroku! I can bear your child without remorse now!  
  
Miroku: Aiight! Let's get it on!  
  
Sango: *smack*  
  
Everyone else: O.O  
  
RANDOMNESS Ni: By my sister Jet Dragon  
  
My sister: Miroku! How could you?  
  
Miroku: Don't worry, you can both bear my child!  
  
Botan: WHAT?!?!  
  
My sister: Huh. HEY, SESSHOUMARU'S SINGLE!  
  
Sesshoumaru: I do not consort with humans.  
  
My sister: I'm not human! I'm a fanfic author!  
  
Sesshoumaru: o.o'  
  
My sister: That's settled then! Come on, Sesshoumaru-sama! Where's little Rin? I'll take care of her for you! Jaken! Hop to it!  
  
Sesshoumaru was dragged off, looking scared.  
  
Sesshoumaru: I'll get you, transvestite! Just as soon as I dispose of this mortal!  
  
Randomness  
  
TO BE CONTINUED............ 


End file.
